Many years ago, when I first read E. M. Forester's novel Howard's End a phrase jumped from its pages which I have never forgotten.  The phrase was 'Only Connect'.  It is part of a longer quotation which pleaded for people to make connections with each other – a positive appeal for people to actually get to understand each other through talking and being together without constraints.  It also implies that this is not always easy and that some people shy away from making real relationships.  Forster implied that human love grows when we seek to engage in relationships with each other and our failure to do this can isolate and damage us.  He makes this plea:  Live in fragments no longer, Only connect ...

We are often told that our present society is a fragmented one.  Our ways of communication are less personal than they used to be and that the rise of the internet, i-pod, mobile phone, etc. has reduced communication to electronic means.  I shared that view until I went on a journey with my 15 year old niece.  All the way there she was 'texting' her friends on her mobile phone.  Of course that meant that she wasn't 'connecting' with me, but as the texts flowed back and forth I realised that there was a real dialogue going on.  Today's younger generation are actually much more in touch with each other than we older ones ever were.  Emails and Facebook add to the wealth of means of communication – and, of course, it is not only the young who benefit.  Think of the way we can be in instant touch with relatives and friends all over the globe.  It is easy to be critical of those who relate through electronic means but there are many pluses.  Perhaps the negatives include the fact that people don't write letters any more an we might miss that rather personal form of communication.   No doubt when the telephone was invented there were similar cries against it.

So, on the whole, there are many things in favour of emails and texting, but there is a negative side, particularly with emails.  When we wrote letters or decided to telephone people, we had to think carefully what we wanted to say.  Emails are rather more instant and they can be used all too easily as a vehicle to vent our spleen and blast people with bad tempered and ill-thought out views, complaints and moans.  Sadly this happens amongst Christians too.  It's all so easy to substitute real discussion about the things that bother us with faceless email communication.  It is a misuse of what would otherwise be a marvellous communication tool.

We should heed something a wise man once said – that we should write our letters and then put them to one side before we send them.  That gives us a chance to cool down and be more rational.  That applies particularly to emails.  We should use the 'draft' button more and the 'send' button less.  That way we might avoid hurting people.   Jesus, in his dealing with others always related to them in love, and in person.  That should be our aim too.  We should constantly ask – will this communication deepen love and understanding?  If it doesn't, then abandon it!