Today is the Fourth Sunday of Advent and with Christmas just around the corner it is time to look and think about Mary, the Mother of our Lord.  Matthew’s Gospel, unlike Luke’s Gospel which was written for the Gentiles, was written by a Jew for the Jews. Matthew therefore gives much greater prominence to Joseph rather than Mary.  But this is not a problem because it encourages us not to forget Joseph who after all was Christ’s earthly father and no doubt a very important role model.

Matthew began his Gospel with the lineage of Jesus before talking about Christ’s birth; it is interesting to note that it is Joseph’s lineage, and not Mary’s that we are given. Nowadays the Jewish line goes through the mother on the basis that it is only possible to be completely certain about the mother of a child because she will give birth to them. However, that is to digress.

At the beginning of the reading we were told that Mary was engaged to marry Joseph. In fact Mary was betrothed to Joseph. Jewish marriage procedure in first century Palestine started with an engagement often when the couple were still children, and was often put in place by their parents. The next stage was betrothal where the girl had to agree to the marriage. The betrothal was absolutely binding and the couple were known as husband and wife although the physical aspects of their marriage waited until their marriage proper, one year after their betrothal. The only way that a betrothal could be terminated was by divorce.

Today we have heard that Mary was found by Joseph to be carrying a child in her womb which she said was brought about by the Holy Spirit. On hearing such an unlikely story, Joseph would have been quite within his rights to insist that Mary was stoned to death but he obviously loved her and was looking for a way around the problem when he had a visit from an angel which corroborated Mary’s story. Joseph does not feature very much in the Gospel stories and the assumption is made that this is because he died when Jesus was a child. Be that as it may, this passage from Matthew’s Gospel tells us what a kind and loving husband he was (even if he did mess up sorting out accommodation in Bethlehem!). This particular problem does not appear in Matthew’s gospel who side-stepped this particular issue by writing that Mary and Joseph lived in Bethlehem, only moving to Nazareth when they came back from Egypt. These Jewish men must stick together!

We know that Joseph was still alive when Jesus was twelve and so he would have been a very important person in our Saviour’s early years and home life. He was a carpenter by trade and he taught our Saviour that trade. Jesus earned his living as a carpenter and was generally believed to have supported his family in this way, before leaving his home and family to start his ministry at the age of thirty.

But now let us return to Mary. What was her place? Over the centuries much damage has been done to Mary. While acknowledging her crucial part in the Incarnation she has been elevated to the Queen of Heaven and a number of people worship her; some believe in her immaculate conception and pray to her for absolution. But we are told quite clearly in the New Testament that Christ was God made Man. He made fully Man and fully God. He knows what it is to be human and that means that he can understand how hard it is to be human. His Father was God the Father but his mother was Mary. Christ’s humanity stemmed from his mother. No doubt she was a very devout Jewish girl but also completely human. And so this very human couple were told that they were to be the parents of the Messiah promised down the centuries by God to His people.

Once Joseph understood about Mary’s pregnancy the two of them had the opportunity to prepare for this very special assignment. For everyone the prospect of becoming a parent is both exciting and daunting and for Mary and Joseph it must have been particularly so. I wonder how they imagined life would pan out when the Messiah arrived. Maybe they were just able to accept this task and trust in God but I suspect that was not always the case.

When I was expecting my first child I remember chatting to a couple with young children about being a parent. They said that you could sum it up like this: “The good times are better and the bad times are worse.” A fairly good summary I believe and for Mary and Joseph it was certainly true. To be given the responsibility of parenting the Messiah, God’s only Son. A joyful time at his birth, with the worship of the shepherds and the magi. But sorrow as well. Beginning with the time when Jesus began his ministry. One moment he was at home earning money to support the family and then he left to become an itinerant preacher. It would appear that Joseph had died by the time Christ started his public ministry but for Mary, in those days before telephones and skype, must have been very sorry to see her son leave. No doubt she heard how things were going and could have been in no doubt that the Jewish authorities were not happy with much that her son did. And finally thirty-three years after his birth Mary, suffered the profound sorrow of seeing her first-born crucified unjustly. She was there at the foot of the Cross, when many others had run away, and like them, she had no idea of the joy that Easter was to bring. No, she was there because as a mother she needed to be there for her son.

So what can we learn from Mary and Joseph? First I believe that when faced with the difficult and unexpected we should pray and wait, not rush headlong into a solution. When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant he could have acted according to Jewish Law and had her killed before the day was out. Instead, he bided his time, and because he loved her, tried to find a loving solution to the problem. Because he took time to consider, he was also ready to accept the explanation from the angel. We do not know whether Mary told him that she was to bear the Messiah from the Holy Spirit, or whether she was too anxious to discuss it at all, but no doubt she trusted God that a solution would emerge. So when we encounter a tricky situation we should take time to wait and pray.

When we say’ Yes!’ to God, we must be prepared for the fact that the task may not be easy. Once Mary had got over the problem of her unexpected pregnancy she may well have felt that the difficult times were out of the way. Now her situation would surely be endlessly joyful. But when Jesus was presented at the Temple at the time of his circumcision, Mary and Joseph encountered Simeon who confirmed the angel’s message that he was the Messiah come to redeem Jews and Gentiles alike. Then Simeon* blessed them and said to his mother Mary,

Saying’ “Yes” to God may come with a cost.

Finally they learnt to trust God. A little later on in Matthew’s gospel, Joseph was warned by God that Jesus was in danger if he stayed in Israel. And so very quickly the family had to go into Egypt and wait for the death of Herod. A little later another angel appeared and advised them that although Herod had died it would be much safer if they went to live in Galilee, and so they moved to Nazareth. No doubt this was quite daunting, having left their home in a hurry to go into Egypt, now they had to set up another home away from family and friends. And yet they knew that there was no alternative and so they followed where God led them. Learning to trust God completely is very important.

As we prepare to welcome the Christ Child anew let us join with Mary in saying:

If we learn to pray and wait on God, we can trust Him implicitly as we say “Yes” to whatever He has planned for us. Who knows what we may achieve!

Amen