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Jesus in choosing his disciples, seemed to echo that because, as they were to prove on more than one occasion, they were a long way from perfect. Indeed, to re-work the old Irish joke where a man asks for directions to a certain place and is told, "If I were going there, sir, I wouldn't start from here", so might we say, "If I was founding a Church, sir, I wouldn't begin with them."
Yet Jesus did just that and it may be one of the reasons that St Paul wrote to the Corinthians
Consider your own call, brothers and
sisters: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were
powerful, not many were of noble birth, but God chose what is foolish
in the world to shame the wise:
He chose the weak to shame the strong - and
therefore, inevitably, the imperfect. Speaking more personally
about himself in the Second Letter to the Corinthians, Paul recalls
that when he appealed to God to remove the thorn from his side, the
imperfection and weakness that Paul thought was holding him back, he
received the reply: My grace
is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.
Which,
of
course,
leaves
plenty
of room for you and me! Of course, Paul,
along with the disciples were called upon to preach
the folly of the Cross as we heard in today's first reading and yet it
is the foolish Cross which is
the symbol of the strength and power of the love of God. This we are called to proclaim. And I say We because that is all God has - his baptised and imperfect people through whom He continues to fashion, shape and lead His church on earth. This is our vocation and it became our vocation laid on us at our baptism when God calls us to a ministry of love, reconciliation and proclamation. We are to love others into the Kingdom of God not by our own strength, but rather that of God's love, poured out onto the world through us; He reconciles the world to Himself through Christ Jesus and in our baptismal discipleship we join him in that ministry of reconciliation. We are called to proclaim the Saving Love of Jesus Christ which we know to be the Good News of the Gospel. That is why, through baptism, Christ claims us as his own and seals that calling by the sign of the cross, traced on our foreheads - the secret invisible sign that we belong to Christ. This signing is immediately followed by the command that we are not to be ashamed to confess the faith of Christ crucified and we are commissioned to be Christ's faithful witnesses to a world that needs His salvation. We are called to discipleship. We have to work out what it means to be effective disciples. It involves a readiness to trust God and not be surprised that He is always doing new things and calling us to do those new things with Him. We must always be willing to accept what He calls us to do, even if it means leaving the familiar behind and reaching out into the unknown.
We see this letting go in today's Gospel when the four fishermen put down their nets and follow Jesus. They did not, of course, know what they were letting themselves in for. They may have been caught up with the thrill of an adventure but they were a long way off knowing what was going to be the result of all this following. God tends to work on a need to know basis or more properly, a slow revelation of his plane. WE go along with him and then, through a prayerful relationship which includes teaching and service, the penny beings to drop. Ah, that's what all this is about.
That has happened to me so many times in my ministry that I am no longer surprised. Not even when a certain David Lowman, Archdeacon of Southend, said to me sweetly, eleven years ago, Have you thought of Epping? I had no clue where that conversation was going to lead me but it didn't surprise me to think that it might have been God-engineered! One thing is certain is that if I had just stood on the sideline and done nothing about it, I would have been the poorer. And that would have been a great pity. Not to embrace the call of God to some particular service in His name might lead us to become like the Whisky Priest in Graham Greene's novel, The Power and the Glory, who missed happiness by seconds at the appointed place.
When God calls, there may be mystery and adventure joy or terror but to stand still is not really an option. Years ago, when I was considering what God might want to do with my life, somebody put into my hands a remarkable little book called Markings - the spiritual diary of Dag Hammerskjold, a former General Secretary of the UN. Opening it I read:
I am being driven forward
Into an unknown land.
The pass grows steeper,
The air colder and sharper
A wind from my unknown goal
Stirs the strings
Of expectation
Yes, I thought, this is what this vocation thing
feels like though I also had some sympathy with the questions that
followed in Dag Hammerskjold's poem Shall I ever get there? And,
of course, we do, because we are following God who not only calls but
also leads and shows the way. But we do have to follow. And
we do have to make it possible for others to do the same. Into an unknown land.
The pass grows steeper,
The air colder and sharper
A wind from my unknown goal
Stirs the strings
Of expectation
This week Bishop David spoke at a meeting of vocations advisers. He spoke of the urgent need to grow and foster more vocations to the various ministries of the Church. He said that we can't sit back and passively wait for people to come to us. We had to get active in helping people to discover what God wants from them and from us. It's not enough to talk about being disciples. We have to live out that discipleship through the many opportunities of Christian Service God puts in our way. And he does this for everyone who is baptised.
The aim of the Vocations Fair to be held here in a fortnight's time is to offer information and encouragement about a whole range of opportunities for ministry in the church. You may think that's not for you. you may think that the work Vocation is a rather elitist sort of word which describes those who offer themselves for ordination or Reader Ministry or Lay Evangelist or Pastoral Assistant - something about the 'Official' ministry of the church, therefore nothing to do with you. Or you may feel that you are doing enough already. And you may be, but it's always worth considering whether it is time to let go of what you are doing and try something new. Or you may avoid it because you are scared. You don't want God to speak to your heart because you are frightened of what you might hear and what you then might have to do. Everyone who has ever responded to the call of God knows that one! Well might Jane Williams say in a recent Lectionary Reflection:
To be called by God is a thing of joy and
terror in about equal measures.
Or you may think that actually you've got
nothing to offer. A bit like the poster the Church produced some
years ago. It showed a picture of blocks of flats on an inner
city housing estate. The caption read: You don't get vocations around here!
and underneath: That's what they said in Nazareth.
Even people who feel they have nothing to offer
have the most vital thing we need which is the ministry of prayer - the
absolute lifeline of the Church. Prayer is heartbeat of a
living church. Without it we are dead.Whether you take advantage of what the Vocation Fair has to offer, God has a way of being persistent. Years ago, I spent some time with someone struggling to decide what God wanted from him. It was obvious to me that God wanted him ordained but he resisted. Not that long ago he wrote to me, "You were right. God got me in the end." Today, he's a priest not too many miles from Epping.
Over the years, I have listened to many stories from people whom God has called. Everyone has been different, all have been inspiring and few have believe that they were worthy of the calling. Most of them started their journey with the cry WHY ME! But through God's grace and love that cry was gradually into WHY NOT ME.
Today, Barbara Reid, a Reader in Training joins us for a 3 month placement as part of her training. I don't know whether she ever said, Why Me? you can ask her. Next week, Olivia, a young lady exploring her vocation is coming to spend three months with us to find out whether God is calling her to ordination. We must help her to discover God's will. About six years ago, a lady came to see me, sent by the Director of Ordinands, to discuss her sense of vocation to ordination. I found her very convincing and we had a good talk. Maybe that's why she's sitting here as our curate today. In the past few years quite a number in this church have stepped out into the unknown. As a result we have two new Readers, a Lay Evangelist, a Pastoral Assistant, a new Treasurer, a new leader of the Flower Guild, several school Governors, new choristers, servers, bellringers, new-ish churchwardens (we're looking for another, by the way), PCC members, sidespeople ... I could go on and on, but I'll let someone else tell you about his vocational journey, instead:
[Alex Jeewan gave this testimony:]
It would be easier and more dramatic if I could say that a burning bush spoke to me, a bright light conversed with me or I had a dream about bundles of grain bowing down before me. But that simply was not the case. It began as a small but insistent voice. A voice that told me I had gifts that could be used. At first I ignored the voice but it began to get louder. At the time, I had a low opinion of myself and I considered myself unworthy of being able to serve anyone let alone the living God. I was shown that people are weak and fallible and that is through God that we find our strength. I felt myself looking at others who had been called by God and seeing that these were simply people. Of course, I did not compare myself with the prophets of old but it was encouraging to see how people like David or Moses occasionally got things wrong. I was no better or worse than anyone else in God's eyes.
I finally took the plunge and spoke to my rector about how I felt God was calling me. I explained that I didn't really know at this stage what shape or form this might take. I cannot express to you the feeling of relief I felt when he agreed that it was clear that God was speaking to me. It was a load off my shoulders and one of the times I have really felt God's hand in my life. If you feel God might be calling you then please talk about it or explore it. You'll be glad that you did.
I have only really begun to explore God's call on my life and my vocation to serve him and others. I still don't really know where God is leading me. I only know that I feel now ready to follow where he leads.
The road I am on is not easy. It is hard to explore your vocation and combine these things with work and family. It is hard to juggle everything and get the balance right. This is where we need to rely on God. I don't know financially how we as a family will cope with a change of vocation. I know my family are behind me and support me but I have to trust in God that this change is right for them also.
There are so many uncertainties that you simply have to put everything at the foot of the Cross and trust. My faith is continually growing and developing at the moment. I know I am learning even when things seem hard and situations seem insurmountable that God is in control.
If he wasn't, there is no way that I would be standing here speaking to you now.
[end of testimony]
In many and varied ways people like Alex have heard the voice of God calling to them. Jesus goes on beckoning us as he did those first disciples to come and follow. This is not a piece of biblical history - it is the call of the Living Lord to His Living Church - it is a challenge to share as a church community with Jesus as he claims people for his own - which often starts by re-claiming us. Vocation is not simply about what we do. It's about who we are and, under God's grace, who we can become.